400 years ago today, in the year of 1609 Galileo Galilei, turned his mighty looking glass toward the heavens. His device would challenge the religious establishment of his time, play a key role in the scientific revolution, and change the way human being saw the universe around them forever. It also is allowing me see my neighbor in the shower across the street.
More people should shave their back hair.
He's been hailed as the "father of modern physics" by famous names from Albert Einstein to Stephen Hawking. Denounced during his life time for arguing scientific ideals contrary to a slightly crazier version of our modern catholic church. Galilei was even tried and even briefly imprisoned by Pope Urban VIII and the inquisition for suggesting ideas, sexily described as being "vehemently suspect of heresy."
Even after his trial his later works would continued to be banned. It wasn't until a well known Dutch publishing family named Elzevir circumvented the church in order to publish his last known work, that his name was ever seen on printed on page again.
He lived an extraordinary life dedicated to the pursuit of truth, relenting only to avoid torture and possible death.
We owe this man a great deal of worship, and I would like to take the time to stop and reflect further on the conviction and certitude he poured into his craft.
I would like to, but I'm far too busy looking through my telescope while masturbating to the woman two buildings down five floors up. This man made peeking through key holes about as necessary as the horse drawn carriage. Now I can gaze upward and admire the heavens or gaze slightly lower into the personal sex lives of any poor fool who had to choose between buying that leather face mask, or blinds for his bedroom.
Despite popularizing Nicolaus Copernicus theory of a heliocentric universe he will always be credited for inventing the essential weapon in the voyeur arsenal. His genius allowed him to scan the surface of the moon and continues to allow lonely astronomy buffs to gaze into the endless universes of the apartment building across the street.
So congratulations Galileo Galilei, happy anniversary. Your superiour intillect allowed you to be credited with the invention of the telescope only one year after Hans Lipperhey applied for a patent on the exact same device in 1608.
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